Monthly Archives: May 2009

Vlog #12 – Keith’s In A Sling


My Arm Fell Off

Sorry for the delay in posting, but it’s been a crazy time. First and foremost, my arm fell off. You read that right. It fell the fuck off. My right shoulder dislocated while I was at the gym. It snapped right back on like a G.I. Joe action figure, but it’s not the same. I had to sit in the ER for four hours to get an X-ray and some decent medical advice. I’m in a sling and not the fun kind. My arm won’t be back to normal for quite some time, say a couple months. And I’m undergoing physical therapy in the meantime. The gym will have to wait, so you may see me with bitch tits soon enough.

In better news, I’m still seeing the same someone. He has me cooking and dressing snazzy. I’ll leave it at that.

Smiling In My Sleep

I’m having a personal renasaince.

My life has become amazingly awesome. That’s the way a 13-year-old girl in junior high might describe it, but who the fuck cares. I’m fucking king of the God damn world.

I should mention I’m drunk. I drank Schlitz after Schlitz after Schlitz at the open mic at Schubas. Still drunk words aren’t false. So therefore I speak the truth. Just slightly unabashed, unrestrained. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

First, I did my first open mic in more than two years. Sure, I’ve done stand-up shows more recently. But an open mic is a different beast all together. It is soul crushing. Especially for a gay man who is telling jokes to a nearly all straight, white male crowd, who is drunk mind you. But I grew some balls and did it. And I did well. And I’m going to do it again.  Fuck the fear. It’s a great motto to live by.

Work is going fantastic. I’m up to my ears in assignments. Which is both scary and wonderful. Sure I got some crazy deadlines to make, but it’s money. Enough money to get me through any droughts I experience over the summer. So I can’t complain.

And finally, I met a boy. I’m not going to go into it too much. But let’s just say I’m extraordinarily happy. I’m just fucking happy. There’s nothing more to say about it than that.