How To Disappear Completely

I’m not here. That’s not me.

That’s what Facebook would have you believe. The mega-social-networking site that encourages to people to build their lives around its services has banned me. Me! Keith Ecker! The Keith Ecker! And for what? What crime, what infraction, what atrocity did I commit?


They won’t tell me. They lord it over me like some kind of secret. I can hear them now. Talking about me. Behind my back. Gossping. Pointing. Laughing.

“Look at him squirm!” they cackle.

I have ceased to exist. I am a nameless faceless being that roams the streets. I have no friends. There is little record of my existence at all. I am a ghost. And I am calling you all via this blog from beyond the grave.


Just remember things can change for you as well. You’re not so bad off now, but one day you might become the targer of Facebook’s ire. I remember when I ruled the world. 450 friends. 450!!! My kingdom for a profile page. My kingdom!

This may be the last you ever hear from me. I detect that Facebook is only beginning by destroying my online persona. Next, they’re coming for flesh. I can hear them. They call my name. Taunting. “Keith. Keith. Keith.” My time here is limited. Please remember me. Please….please…


2 responses to “How To Disappear Completely

  1. Why? You should get on Twatter.

  2. They kicked you off because you don’t own any shirts, Dorian Gray. Glad to see you clothed.

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