I’m searching for something, but I have no freaking clue what it is. Is it the summer? I really miss warm weather, relaxing on the beach and riding my bike. Yes, we had some unseasonal heat this weekend, but it’s not the same. I want to be able to walk around in shorts and just stare at the sky and watch the boats on the lake.
Is it money? Business isn’t going so well. It’s a big point of stress. I’m hitting the pavement hard, knocking on every door I can think of. I’m making baby steps, but nothing solid has come up.
Is it a vacation? YES! God I need one of these. I’m just kind of angry at the city right now. I don’t even know what it is. It didn’t do anything. I just feel like everything here is a big weight on my shoulders. The problem is I don’t know where I’d go. I might be going to New Zealand later this year, so I want to save up for that. If anyone has any cheap, quick get-away recommendations, please share. Also, if you know of any cute, single guys who might want to go with me, share that too.
Which brings me to, is it love? Well, no. It’s definitely not that. I’m not looking for a relationship. But the bar scene is becoming old yet again. Maybe it’s my financial situation or maybe it’s because there are only so many times you can hear “Single Ladies” before you want to put a shotgun in your mouth. Yes, it’d be great to start dating. I think I’m ready for that finally. But that’s not “it.”
Maybe “it” is just being happy in the present moment, being able to take what life throws at you and still be content in the face of challenge and adversity. Maybe I should see this as a major transitory point in my life, as an awakening and a death, as a time of flux that should be embraced and celebrated!
Or maybe I should just do this: