I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. I really meant to. And frankly I had no good reason for not going other than I just got stupid lazy. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes watching paint dry seems like the reasonable thing to do. Sometimes you just zone the fuck out all day, and when you come to it’s 10 pm, and you have no fucking clue where the God damn day went!
But I digress. Out of guilt and an intense feeling of shame, I went to the gym today and had a wonderful workout. On my way, I came across this.
That’s right. A danish. Of the cheese variety I believe (which we all know is the best because it’s the most gooey and fat-filled Danish of them all). It was like God was testing me. “Do you really want to go to the gym, my son? Or do you want to nibble on this delicious, abondend, frozen danish?” But like Jesus himself, I fought temptation and kept walking. I still think about that danish sometimes, wondering if it is weathering the wintery cold. Does it miss it’s family? Can it build a fire? Will it ever find it’s home? My guess is a dog will eat it. Such is the circle of life.
And by the way, I think “Danish In The Snow” would make a good Weird Al parody of The Doors’ “Riders On The Storm.”
Stay tuned for an amazing second installment of my vlog tomorrow! Yippee!